planning your marriage while planning your wedding: week 5 “in the ordinary”

Clay and Meredith 22 Clay and Meredith 25 Clay and Meredith 26 Clay and Meredith 27 Clay and Meredith 29 Clay and Meredith 31

This day was anything but ordinary. If you’d like to read our engagement story, you may do so here! But today, I am going to talk about the night Clay and I first made plans to hang out…

My little brother, Andrew, was in town visiting with his friend, Tye. We had been walking around Third Street Promenade in Santa Monica, and Clay and I had been texting. I read those texts aloud to Andrew and Tye asking them – who were boys – if they thought the statements Clay was making meant he liked me or not. Here I was at 29 years old feeling as if I was back in seventh grade.

It was so exciting. So full of anticipation. My heart skipped a beat at a mere text. (You’ve been there, too… don’t act like you haven’t!)

I invited Clay to meet us for dinner that night. He brought a friend with him (wingman, anyone?) and we all went down to eat at Blue Plate Taco. After dinner we took a walk down the Santa Monica pier and stopped to watch the ocean waves crash below us.

Andrew asked in more reflective pondering than actual questioning, “Why could I stand here and watch these waves for hours?” Tye answered, “Because you don’t see them every day.”

Because you don’t see them every day…

Why are we so filled with awe and wonder at the things we don’t see every day when there are miracles of God right around us in our midst every single day? 

This past week wedding planning has finally felt like it has slowed down a bit. It’s becoming more routine than something fresh, new, and overwhelmingly exciting. It has become almost “ordinary.” And it has me thinking… just as when we have been surrounded by the beauty of God’s creation and find ourselves becoming numb to it, when Clay and I have been alone together for a while I can find myself becoming almost numb to his greatness. Not that he isn’t great (don’t get me wrong, he is very, very great), I am just not stepping outside of myself and seeing him with fresh eyes.

I don’t ever want to become numb to how amazing of a man Clay is. I don’t ever want to take him for granted. I don’t ever want to forget how I felt that night as we walked along the pier in a group of people, our eyes catching each other’s, and that feeling being so electric and powerful and overwhelming in the best way. I don’t every want to forget the way I felt when he looked into my eyes and asked me to marry him.

I want to always cherish this man – my fiancé, my soon to be husband, my one true love. I want to always see God’s great generosity and faithfulness through the presence of this man in my life – this man, this gift that I prayed for over so many years of my life who is finally here! I wanted to be constantly captivated by his uniqueness, his love for the Lord, his servant’s heart… and of course, his dashing good looks! He is my “constant companion” but I never want him to be the thing I constantly take for granted.

In this season of wedding planning, I challenge you to embrace the slowing down, to maintain the excitement of the gift that it is, and to never allow planning your wedding to outshine planning your marriage. I challenge you to always strive to see at your fiancé with fresh eyes. I challenge you to never allow the extraordinary things and people in your life to feel ordinary.

Last night at Foundry, the young adults group at our church, Clay was preaching in our gorgeous sanctuary. When he stands up there and preaches, I get to watch him with fresh eyes of those listening to him as a pastor and not a fiancé. And I am so grateful for those moments because they truly help to refresh my eyes, renew my heart, and recaptivate my soul for him. And they always point me back to the Lord in gratitude for this long-awaited gift in my life.

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