This is the week. It is finally here. The week that Clay and I will be married. The week that we will finally make covenant vows to each other. The week that we will call each other husband and wife… for all our lifetime.
A lifetime is a long time. But when you’ve found the right one – when you have found God’s best for you – well, then a lifetime doesn’t seem so long at all. In fact, it seems like not quite long enough.
This song Lifetime by Steve Moakler is one that has always reminded me of Clay – the way he has pursued me, the way he has let his faith patiently guide him, the way he looked to Jesus and exuded Jesus in all areas of our relationship. I truly feel he is the protector of my heart.
Clay has pursued me so lovingly, selflessly, and patiently. I have learned so much from him over the course of this last year about discipline, about self-control, and about putting God first – above all selfish desires. He truly makes me a better woman, makes me want to continue to become a better person, child of God, disciple, friend, daughter, fiancé, and soon wife to him.
I took down some photos recently that had been hanging on this twine by my back door for years. And I replaced those photos with these photos from Clay’s and my engagement shoot. And I thought about the symbolism of this action: I am taking down the old to make room for the new. I am getting rid of what was before to make space for what will come. I am replacing that which has been with that which will be… A lifetime with Clay.
As I pass by these photos countless times throughout my day, I will look to them and I will be reminded of our love, of our story, of God’s faithfulness, and of the lifetime that lies ahead with this man.
I am sure one day these photos may come down. We may replace them with those of our future children, of a family that will be bigger than just the two of us someday. But that’s just the thing about a lifetime: it’s constantly changing, constantly evolving, constantly moving forward. As time moves forward, as we are stretched, challenged, molded more to the likeness of God, as we grow together, next to each other, with each other, and advocate for each other we must constantly be open to change, to shifting, to the “redecorating” of our lives.
I have no idea what lies ahead for me and Clay and our lifetime together. But what I do know is that I will continue to love him, to pursue him, and to choose him. Every day. And I will continue to decorate and redecorate our home – wherever and whatever that may be – just as I will continue to “redecorate” my heart. I will continue to ask God for a malleable heart that would grow and change and just be an ever increasing portal to be Jesus to my husband, to my children, and to all those I know.
And I will strive to make these words my truth to Clay, just as I know he will do for me:
“It will take a lifetime to know all of the love I have to give you.”