the pain of a heartbreak.

“Woke up this morning, and I heard the news. I know the pain of a heartbreak.” – Ben Rector, When a Heart Breaks

Heartbreak. The first thing you probably think of when you hear “heartbreak” is most likely a breakup. But heartbreak comes in many forms… Illness. The death of a loved one. Even the death of a dream.

Heartbreaks. This world is full of them.

This week has been a long one, a heavy one, for me. Among other things, I found out a friend of mine from college took his own life. And then shortly after that I was told that a friend from high school had taken his life just a few days before that. Needless to say, this news brought up a lot of emotion, but specifically brought up a lot of emotion in regards to some significant losses I have faced in my life.

Do you ever feel as if heartbreak is somehow surrounding you? Like Satan is trying to weight down your heart so much that you begin to lose hope and think, “there’s just too much pain in the world. It’s hopeless here.”
It’s hard to not be overwhelmed by the pain, loss, and heartbreaks of this world. It’s hard not to let those thoughts creep in…

But that’s the lie Satan wants us to believe. If we start thinking that way, well, then Satan has got us right where he wants us – focusing on the darkness instead of the light.

But Christ came to be the light in this world of darkness…

“No shadow comes without the light making it’s way.” – Steven Curtis Chapman, You Never Let Go


God will never leave or forsake us – no matter how dire the circumstances.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” – 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

I am reading through the book of Job right now, and talk about dire circumstances. This man Job was an amazing man of God, an upright citizen, a truly righteous soul. Yet God allowed Satan to tear him down – physically and emotionally – to see if Job would stand firm in his faith.

Job experienced many heartbreaks. The loss of all of his material possessions. The loss of his health. The loss of his entire family. He didn’t “deserve” those trials. He didn’t “need” to experience such heartbreaks so that he would seek God. He was already seeking God.

But there’s so much more to it than that. There’s so much more to it than us. Thankfully, in this life we don’t get what we deserve. Sometimes that doesn’t seem fair, but if we have two alternatives, I’ll take the grace every time.

There’s a quote I love that says, “Be kind. For you never know the battles someone is facing.”


This week I was talking with some actors I didn’t even really know when one of them asked me how my week was. And instead of giving the typical, superficial, “My week’s been great! What about you?” I actually “got real” and opened up about how heavy my week was.

And you know what happened? It opened up this amazing, deep conversation, pulling in other actors as we talked – about pain, depression, faith, and heartbreak. I learned some things about these people I never would have expected.

You never know the battles someone is facing until you ask. Until you engage. Others will never know that battles you are facing until you open up. And you never know… maybe the pain you have experienced is so that you can help others. Maybe the heartbreaks of your life will be of encouragement to someone else who may be going through something similar.


People in this world – strangers you pass, acquaintances you meet – are going through some very real stuff. I think it’s time we start getting real with each other. I think it’s time we start opening up. I think it’s time we stop being superficial and start being intentional.

As believers, we have the opportunity to take the heartbreaks we have experienced, the dark places of our lives and share them with others. We have the opportunity to empathize with others and say, “Yes. I know you feel. I have been there.” And then we have the opportunity to share the hope that we have in Christ.

I read a quote from a Christian author – though I can’t remember who it was, I will never forget it. It was this:

“Your greatest battles will become your greatest ministry.”

(Sidenote: Now, just to be clear, I’m not saying the only reason we experience heartbreak is so that we can help others. I think God is always working in our own lives to shape us, mold us, make us more like him. I’m just saying that instead of keeping all our pain bottled up inside ourselves, instead of being “me-centric,” if we become more “Christ-centric” and, in turn, become more “others-centric” we can help spread compassion, support, healing, and love.)

My prayer for myself, for you, for this world is this: that the heartbreaks we face on this earth would provide us with a beautiful opportunity to rely on Christ in a whole new way, to draw us nearer to Him than ever before, to knit our spirits together with His as he carries us through…

“Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.” – 2 Corinthians 1:9

There’s a lot of pain in this world. But take heart. For Christ has overcome it all.

“In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! For I have overcome the world.” – John 16:33

No matter what you are going through. No matter how alone you feel. No matter how much your heart is breaking… You are not alone. There are others who can relate to what you are going through. There are professionals who are equipped to help you. And there’s the God of the universe who placed each star in the sky, who knows every hair on your head, and who wants to use your life in greater ways that you could ever dream up for yourself.


“But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and now grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”  – Isaiah 40:31

Ben Rector’s song continues on with the following lyrics:

“This isn’t easy. This isn’t clear. And you don’t need Jesus till you’re here.”

The truth is, we all need Jesus. All the time. Even when all is well in our lives. But regardless of when we decide we need Him, regardless of when we choose to seek him, He is there, waiting for us always… to be our light in the darkness, to mend our broken hearts.

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” – Psalm 147:3

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