Yesterday was Valentine’s Day. I spent it doing something I rarely take the time to do: relax. Clay so generously showered me with love through his gift of… well, pause.
I’ve been so busy balancing wedding planning, two part time jobs, acting and writing… not to mention ministry, friendships, and well, just life in general. Oh, and being a fiancé. Minor detail.
Sometimes life can get so busy, we forget to pause.
Yesterday as I laid on a massage table (yes, he sent me to get a massage – the sweetest), I pondered why I have such a difficult time relaxing. And I asked myself, “What would God say to us? What does God want for us in all the business of this life?” And I think He wants us to work hard, to love really well, and yes… to pause – to stop and take a moment (or seven or nine) to enjoy His creation, this gift He has blessed us with where we get to live for just a short time in the span of eternity.
Clay and I discussed these deep thoughts over a gourmet meal he cooked for us (again, the sweetest. seriously, I don’t deserve this man.), and he said that’s why he feels God takes so much joy as we partner with Him in restoring this earth – whether that be witnessing to others or even simply creating a great meal to be shared and enjoyed… so many things we do can be a reflection of restoring God’s Kingdom on this broken earth where we live.
So as I enjoyed that home-cooked meal under His Creation of moonlight and Palm trees, across the table from another wonderful gift He had so generously given to me, I was equally both convicted and encouraged. I was convicted by my seeming inability to just relax and enjoy life sometimes. For some reason – maybe because of some need for perfection and validation – I find it so difficult to pause and stop working for a moment… to “cease striving” as Psalm 46:10 instructs us to do.
Yet in all my failures and shortcomings in this area, I was also encouraged in knowing the truth of God’s great love, grace, and patience with me in the struggle.
I think learning to pause is a practice, a skill we take time and effort to cultivate. It’s not an easy one, but it’s a worthwhile one. I know that learning to pause will bless my future marriage. I know that this challenge will change it for the better.
I saw a flyer just yesterday as Clay and I walked back from a stroll down Montana that said, “if it doesn’t challenge you, it won’t change you.” So as I press on, one step closer to marriage with each passing day (68 to be exact!), I will strive to surrender my anxiety, my hurry, and my business in exchange for the rest that will bring all my unhealthy striving to cease.
“No place I would rather be than here in Your love.” – Will Reagan, Set a Fire
“Why do we tarry while Jesus is waiting?” – Daniel Martin Moore, Softly and Tenderly
“Cease striving, and know that I am God.” – Psalm 46:10
