planning your marriage while planning your wedding: week 14 “in the sorting”



This past week Clay and I cleaned out his room. He has a friend moving into it, so he is moving into his other roommate’s room for these last few months. Needless to say, there’s not much room around their place.

We decided we needed to start bringing some of his stuff to my place, but before we did so we went through all of his clothes…. And filled five trash bags with stuff to donate!

Ever since I have known Clay would move in with me (even before he proposed – what can I say? I was so confident this man was my future hubby!) I have started to clean out my own place to make room for him and his stuff. If you know me at all, you know I am very organized and hate clutter. So I am determined to find a way to fit all our stuff into my place in a nice, neat way.

Well, if there’s anything about relationships that I know – and if there’s anything about life that I know – is that it’s not always nice and neat. There are times of transition when there’s going to be clutter. And there are times in relationships when there is emotional clutter you have to work through. That’s not to say you won’t get it sorted (Clay has a phrase he commonly used with ease – “We’ll sort it!” while me – I sit there, mind racing, unsure and anxious about how the details will get… well, sorted.)

But the truth is, if we are committed to sitting down and sorting through it – whether it be our physical belongings or our emotional lives – then well, it will all get sorted! One bit at a time. One day at a time. And it’s sort of the best feeling in the world knowing that I am marrying a man who is committed to sorting through it all with me.

Now, I’m going to go clean out more of my junk to make some more space! How do I have so much stuff?!… But at the end of the day, the truth of the matter is – I don’t need all that stuff. I don’t even want all that stuff. All I want is this man. And I am so honored to be in this transition period – full of it’s clutter and all – because that means we are one step closer to marriage, one step closer to becoming one, one step closer to being the Colliers!

“Everybody wants a house on the hill. Everybody wants a ski boat… Everybody wants a swimming pool with a big back yard… I’d be fine watching you watch the sun go down… All I want is you honey.” – Steve Moakler, Suitcase

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