planning your marriage while planning your wedding: week 20 “in the homestretch”

We’ve been at this wedding planning thing for quite a while now. It’s been about five months, and we only have about one left. You would think that we would be feeling more energized than ever with such a light at the end of the tunnel, but I’ll be honest – I feel a bit lethargic in this homestretch and just about ready to be done with it all.

My mom sent me a verse this week in response to my post about really desiring to have more time with Clay and longing for that which will come in marriage. The verse is this:

“Don’t burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant.” – Romans 12:11, The Message

She was encouraging me to remember the way I feel now in preparation for the way I will surely feel at some point down the line in marriage when Clay and I will be annoyed with each other, tired of each other, and when the shiny newness of our relationship has become worn and in need of some polish.

I think it’s important in life to remember to finish what we started and to finish it well. We live in a culture that encourages us to pursue what is easy, to work towards that which feels satisfying. If it doesn’t feel good, if we’re tired of it, we’re told to simply quit, move on, and do what makes us happy – or pursue who makes us happy.

But in marriage we are called to so much more and to such a higher standard than this self-seeking, instant gratification society. Especially as believers. Our spouse will not always make us happy, and the road of marriage will, I’m sure, seem long at times. But we are called to finish strong, to run – not walk – towards the light at the end of that tunnel. We are called to love each other well in the midst of hard times, to continue to pursue each other when we don’t feel like it, to endure and persist and thrive when we’d rather give up, move on, and throw our hands up in surrender.

The light that waits at the end of any tunnel we may go through in marriage is Jesus. Persevering, putting Him first, and seeking Him in all things will always draw us nearer to Him, to a place where we will see His goodness revealed as we are refined by the difficult stretches. My own parents went through a stretch of marriage that no doubt was a long journey. But they stuck it out, stayed true to their covenant, and they are more in love after 35 years of marriage than ever before.

So as I finish this final stretch of wedding planning with all its seemingly endless details, my prayer is that I will finish this job – nay, privilege – well and that I will allow this lesson learned in wedding planning to carry over into my marriage – that I would not grow weary, give up hope, or become lethargic but strive for the best possible marriage we can have that will honor God in the most glorifying way. 

“Take courage when the road is long. Don’t ever forget you are never alone.” – Drew Holcomb and the Neighbors, Live Forever