Clay’s trip definitely tested me in many ways. There were a few hard moments and a particularly difficult 24 hour period. I received some pretty significant health news after having thirteen vials of blood drawn (yep, almost passed out), in the midst of his transit from India to Uganda and my own Benadryl-induced haze discovered we needed to change our insurance plan decision last minute, and not only was the connection of communication lines spotty, there was constantly someone yelling from the street outside and incessant honking of cars on Clay’s end.
Needless to say, it was a hectic and emotional 24 hours. And all I really wanted to do was just connect with my husband who was halfway around the world.
It’s frustrating when there’s a time crunch on something on which you must make a decision and what should be a 4 minute conversation takes about 45. It’s difficult when you receive big health news and aren’t able to process through with your husband who knows you so deeply. It’s hard to worry about his safety and know there’s nothing you can do to control it.
And yet, despite the hard things about Clay’s trip, his mission, our mission was good in so many ways.
What an amazing opportunity for us to live out our calling for the Kingdom as Clay works to strengthen our church partnerships. I realized in these last few weeks that even by staying behind, I can partner with God and Clay in this mission by helping him get packed, by being a source of constant encouragement and joy to him when he is weary and tired from traveling, by praying for him and staying positive as I focus not on my own frustrations with the inconveniences surrounding this kind of travel and separation from my new husband but rather allow my faith and trust in God to give me the continued perspective that it’s not about me, but about His Kingdom, and making his name more famous.
Paul sets a wonderful example in 1 Corinthians 10:33 when he states, “For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved.”
I’ve come to realize over the years that just about everything in life is hard but good. Being single? Hard but good. Getting married? Hard but good. Having a baby? Hard but good. (Haven’t experienced that one first hand yet, but I’ve sure seen it to be true!)
I’ve come to realize that often, not despite but because of the hard, we can find such good. For if it were all good, we wouldn’t long for Heaven. We wouldn’t need a Savior. It’s the “hard” that turns us to Jesus.
