This will be my final post. For a while. Not sure how long. I just know I have to…
I’ll be heading back into my writing hole, back into the abyss.
I took a couple of weeks off writing my book for the holidays, to focus on family, give rest to my body and brain. It was a reset of sorts that I knew I needed.
And it was nice. While it lasted.
Come January 2 I was ready to wake up and hit it hard… this would be the start to a new week, a new year, a new burst of productivity. And then 24 hours later I woke sick.
It’s funny how our plans can change so quickly, by no control of our own. And I know that while I have to be malleable, it also drives me a little crazy! {Honest talk.}
And so I took a few days to read, to blog. I didn’t feel I had the energy to quite yet dive back into writing. And maybe that was part of my own personal block and hesitation to jump out of the plane, fear of the parachute’s absence or malfunction.
But today is the day. Today is the day I put all those fears behind me. Today is the day I dive in, deep into the waters. Today is the day I strap on that backpack and I jump out of that plane. Today is the day that I fearlessly {or at least as fearlessly as possible} get back into the midst of this calling I have received from God to write this book.
Y’all. I love blogging. I just do.
I love creating something out of nothing. I love sharing my thoughts, ideas, recipes, tips and tricks and helping others. But sometimes we must focus our efforts. And sometimes we must say “no” to something in order to better say “yes” to something else.
And so for now, I am saying “no” to blogging. For now I will resist the temptation for the instant gratification that blogging provides, and I will head into the abyss of writing a book, of countless, thankless hours, of nothing to show the world for my work {yet}, of that inner struggle I have of my {possibly sinful} need to prove myself, account for my time, and all that other gunk, and instead dive into the deep waters of faithfulness, in the unknown, uncharted territory, of being all-in to answering this call.
The other day I made a list of every fear I had about writing this book. And then I turned each and every one of those fears into an affirmation. A truth.
And I taped it up to my mirror where I will see it every morning and every night. Every time I brush my teeth and wash my face. Every time I get ready to go out and every time I make my way back home.
Scripture tells us that God watches over our coming and going {Psalm 121:8}. And I feel this list is a tangible reminder that He is sovereign, true, and good. And that He is more powerful than the lies.
This list has already given me strength just in the last 24 hours since I’ve written it. I think about this shirt my sister-in-law has that says, “Not today, Satan!”
Not today, Satan, indeed. Not today, not this year, not ever.
And so I leave you with these words as we part ways and I head back into the abyss:
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven… a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build… a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up… a time to be silent and a time to speak… {Ecclesiastes 3:1-7}
