on weaning

Well, she’s weaned. Just like that.

We dropped a feeding a week, and gave this last one a bit longer since it was Daddy’s birthday. But it’s done.

It’s bittersweet. I’ve cried buckets of tears over it. But I know it’s what I need to do to get healthy—to restore my depleted body, to rebalance my hormones, and ultimately to be a better mom to my little love.

Thirteen and a half months. Man, what a journey it’s been—from that first feeding just minutes after she was born, to the last feeding two nights ago in her nursery rocking chair.

It’s been the most beautiful experience giving life to another human. And it’s been the most selfless act being constantly available to her. And it’s been difficult at times, though we were lucky we got it down the way we did.

God’s design is so amazing.

I know not everyone shares my experience, and all experiences are great—you don’t have to nurse your baby to give them life.

But this experience of mine and Noelle’s—it’s one for the books… it’s one I’ll never forget. It’s one I’ll cherish for all of my days. And it’s one I now breathe out and let go as I entrust her into the arms of our Father all the more.

I’ll miss those moments. I’ll miss the snuggles. I’ll miss her falling asleep in my arms that way.

Letting go is so hard. And I know this is just the beginning of a long road of more letting go as a mother.

My prayer is that I would love her so well that she would always run back into my arms for a big bear hug and a silly song and our little handshake we do.

Isn’t that sort of a picture of what God does with us? Lets us go, loves us well, and waits for us to run back to His arms?

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” – Ecclesiastes 3:1

{October 6, 2020}

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