planning your marriage while planning your wedding: week 9 “in the hard times”

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“Hard times put the shine into the diamond, but I won’t let that keep us in the ground.” – Steve Moakler, Riser

Clay and I saw one of my favorite artists, Steve Moakler, perform at the Hotel Cafe last July. He sang a song I hadn’t heard yet called Riser. (Apparently it’s Dierks Bentley’s title track on his latest album. Who knew.) If you haven’t heard this song yet, it’s a must-listen. The lyrics are truly profound and inspiring.

I love the metaphor of diamonds and all they represent. The beauty, shine and worth of diamonds are created as a result of intense pressure. What an appropriate symbol for engagement and wedding rings.

I used to think about the “hard times” of being single and waiting for a relationship, and how that longing would make being engaged all the more wonderful. But the metaphor extends far beyond just finding the one you will spend your life with. The hard times within a relationship truly do give it all the more “shine.” 

Since Clay and I have been engaged, I have had two surgeries on my mouth. I have been dealing with other health issues, and honestly just not felt quite myself. Top that all off with the chaos of planning a wedding in just six months, and let’s just say that life hasn’t been the easiest lately.

While I’m a dreamer who would love nothing more than to have a breezy engagement and a relationship made up solely of rainbows and butterflies, I am also enough of a realist to know that that’s not real life. Real life is so much more than the picture-perfect-hair-and-makeup-ready love stories we see in movies. Sometimes it’s puking in the bathroom with a mouth full of stitches while your fiancé holds a cold rag to your head. Yeah… that happened.

I think of the “hard times” Clay and I have experienced – both individually before we met as well as in our dating and engagement – and I think of all those that will come in our future… and I don’t fear them. I welcome whatever hard times lie ahead because I know they will only strengthen our relationship. I move forward in confidence and peace knowing this whatever circumstances may life ahead, this man and I will choose each other daily, we will seek to love each other well, and no matter how difficult the hard times may be or how much intense pressure we may feel from this world… well, I know all of that will only make our love shine all the more brightly.

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