new year; still me

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It’s a new year. January 1. The time of resolutions, of new dreams, of plans for the future.

It’s around this time each year that I become even more ambitious. My dreams that have not come to fruition cause me to make plans and goals that might assist in bringing them from floating particles in my mind to certain and concrete realities.

I think of all I want to accomplish this new year – with my acting career, with my writing, with the numerous ministries about which I am passionate. But I also pause to reflect on all that I have accomplished.

I think so often in life we forget to count our blessings, to look back on our successes and instead live in a constant state of dissatisfaction with our lives. I want to constantly be working toward future goals, but I also want to live in a state of gratitude for all God has done and is currently doing in my life.

“Remember the wonders he has done, his miracles, and the judgments he pronounced.” – Psalm 105:5

This may be a new year. But I am still me. I know that not all the goals and dreams and plans I make for this year will come to pass. But I know that my heart is rooted in who I am in Christ and that whatever He chooses to bless me with – in my career, in my personal life, and in the work in all of it that I want to accomplish for Him – that that will be enough. And I know that I will have to remind myself that my life is not measured by all that I do, but rather by the person He is working in me to be. 

I haven’t quite written out my goals for the year. I will take some time this upcoming week to do so. But the things I want to accomplish pale in comparison to the things that I cannot write down on any list of goals or new years resolutions. Things like having my heart molded more like that of Christ’s. And things like desiring to grow more in the Word.

So while I will continue to work toward all the things I believe God has put on my heart to do, I will strive to remember each day of each month of this new year that it’s not about what I do, but it’s more important who I am. I can’t wait to see what the Lord has in store for me this year – beyond the great blessing He has given me of getting to marry a truly incredible, loving, godly, talented, thoughtful, wonderful man.

As I stare at this blank calendar before me of a new year ahead, I ask God to fill these days with that which would bring glory to Him, that He would guide my life one day at a time, and that whatever I may choose to fill the days of this calendar with, that I would always put His will above my own.

“I arise today through a mighty strength… of the creator of creation… I arise today through God’s strength to pilot me, God’s might to uphold me, God’s wisdom to guide me… alone and in multitude.” – a prayer of St. Patrick

“And the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail.” – Isaiah 58:11

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