planning your marriage while planning your wedding: week 1 “in control”

2015.11.5 planning your marriage week 1

So much to do! These wedding plans have me a bit overwhelmed already. I told Clay on Tuesday night that I felt like a hypocrite for my first post of how to plan your wedding in six months flat because I said I was determined not to let wedding planning stress me out… yet here I was a mere one day later already stressed out!

I took a break from the planning to read The Resolution for Women for my Bible study, and lo and behold, through the words of Priscilla Shirer, God was speaking directly to me:

“by running yourself ragged, trying to do everything morning till night, you’re in essence trying to be God. Overwork is a form of unbelief.”

My bad. Yeah. I had been frantically making a million appointments, research nine things at once, and pretty much just making myself miserable. I had gone down the rabbit hole of wedding planning, but thankfully God reached out before I reached the point of no return!

I was so convicted by my frantic mindset and to-do-list-saturated focus. 

Have you found yourself in a similar situation? Whether you are planning a wedding or just planning your life, I feel I must ask of all of us who are a hands-on, get-it-done, type-A, over-achieving type:

Are we trusting God to provide abundantly in our lives? Or are we minimizing His power and ability to show up in our lives by taking every little detail into our own controlling hands? 

I know that how I act now is how I will act in marriage. I know that how I plan now is how I will plan when I’m married. Whether we are single, dating, or engaged, it is so important to begin cultivating the mindsets, habits, and states of our hearts that we want to be present in our marriage. As Priscilla reminds us:

“you’re setting a precedent that will follow you into marriage.”

Am we going to frantically make decisions out of fear? Or are we going to calmly make decisions out of expectancy that God will abundantly provide in our lives? I don’t know about you, but I always want to choose the latter. And I always want to remember that is is a choice.

Oh, how quickly I forget. I need so many gentle and patient reminders of these truths. Thankfully, God has blessed me with a fiancé who so gently and patiently reminds me of so many truths:

  • that God has shown up so much in our lives and in our relationship thus far, so why would He not show up now in planning our wedding?
  • God is bigger than all this wedding planning and anything we are taking into our own hands
  • doing Kingdom work and living Kingdom lives is what really matters; a wedding is just extra
  • it’s so much more important to focus on our relationship with God and each other than to focus on wedding plans
  • and it is so much more important to focus on planning our marriage that will last a lifetime than our wedding that will last one day
  • oh, and all we really need is him, me, and an officiant!

And one more I thought I’d throw in: that when they ran out of wine in the Bible at a wedding? Jesus took some water… and he turned that stuff into wine! He will not only work out the details of your wedding – and your life – but He will abundantly provide. And if all else fails, there’s always a BevMo around the corner!

Happy marriage planning, y’all!

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