expectation vs. reality

// 4 lessons I learned in marriage that apply to all of life //

“I believe that much of the dissatisfaction we experience in marriage comes from expecting too much from it,” Gary Thomas, Sacred Marriage

Before we got married, I thought marriage would be like this—coffee in bed, lazy mornings, snuggling in bed for hours.

When we got married? Our schedules were busier than ever. There were no lazy mornings. And I was quite disappointed.

I learned a lot from that season of expectation vs. reality. And I believe the lessons apply not only to marriage but to life:

1️⃣ Do what you can to improve the situation.

If there is something you don’t like, or something that is not working, do what you can to fix it.

Clay and I made the difficult but necessary decision to spend Monday nights together instead of at our separate Bible studies.


2️⃣ Stop wishing life was something it wasn’t.

Embrace it. It is what it is. And it’s only for a season. If you can’t change it, make the best of it.

Looking back I wish I had just accepted the season we were in and gone through each day with more joy.


3️⃣ Dont worry about tomorrow.

We don’t know what tomorrow will bring, what next season will bring. I think we can all attest to that in our Covid/quarantine reality right now!

We have spent a lot of time worrying—and arguing—about things that have ended up not even being an issue at all!⠀


4️⃣ Take note of the beauty.

“Don’t waste the wilderness,” I’ve heard it said. There is beauty all around. In every season—even the hard ones.⠀⠀

Look around. Pay attention to the good things. To the places of joy. To the places of provision. And to the unique opportunities of the season. Write them down. Remember them. And cling to them on the journey.

Who knows. One day you might look back and think, “Those were the days.”

. . .

I pray you are filled with encouragement and empowerment from these lessons I’ve learned… and am still sometimes painfully learning! In this reality that is not what any of us expected, may we do what we can do—whether in action, word or spirit—to make the very most of it.

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