As I get ready for the evening, the song “Control” by Tenth Avenue North comes through my speaker in our bedroom. And as I listen to the words, tears form in my eyes as I am altogether convicted + encouraged.
“God, You don’t need me but somehow You want me. Oh, how You love me. Somehow that frees me to take my hands off of my life + the way it should go… to open my hands up + give You control.”
Oh, how I am prone to clench my fists in desire to control my life + the way it should go. I’ve been hurt by pain, by people, by plans failed. It’s difficult to give up control in the midst of a world that seems like it’s spinning out of it.
“I’ve had plans shattered + broken. Things I have hoped in fall through my hands.”⠀⠀
And yet, when I’ve offered my life up + surrendered my control into His loving, strong + good hands, well, I’ve seen Him take that which is broken in me + make me whole again.
“You have plans to redeem + restore me…”
Oh, how I have seen Him redeem + restore me. Over and over and over again. After a breakup + broken dream, after giving up an acting role + another broken dream, and after finding myself so broken in the pit of depression from a decade plus journey of chronic pain.
The first year of our marriage, He broke through to me the message He’s been likely trying to tell me since I was a child—that I am His BELOVED—that I don’t have to earn love or prove myself. And our second year of marriage He reached out to get through to me the message of RELEASE—to release all the broken pieces of myself I’d been holding onto for so many years + to release the fear I’d unknowingly allowed to take hold in my life, my heart + my body.
“I give You control.”
Because I have seen You to be faithful. Because I know this message to be true. In this season of life I find myself in, with so many unknown parts + moving pieces, well, there’s nothing else I can do but.
Take a minute + listen—or re-listen—to this song today. Really listen to the words. Make it your prayer. I promise it will bless you.