remembering my future

Yesterday we took Noelle to church for the very first time. And our pastor preached on Colossians 1:11-14 which begins: “May you be made strong with all the strength that comes from his glorious power, and may you be prepared to endure EVERYTHING with patience, while joyfully giving thanks to the Father…”

The word “everything” stood out to me. Everything meaning, even the sleepless nights. Even this season of having more fibro pain because of less consecutive sleep. Even these really difficult things.

I thought about how Noelle will eventually start sleeping through the night, and how even while it’s difficult now, I will miss those sweet and quiet moments nursing her.

Our pastor said, “If patience is a fruit of the spirit, then gratitude is like savoring that fruit.” And I so want to savor this season instead of wishing for the next part to come. Because come it will. And although the difficult parts will pass, so will the sweet moments.

I have decided to truly attempt to accept this newborn season with open hands of gratitude.

Instead of resisting it. Fighting against it. Trying to change it.

Because when I try to control things beyond my control, it makes my anxiety and my physical pain even worse.

After the sermon Pastor Drew read these words of James 5:13-16:⠀

“Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”

He called up anyone who needed physical healing to be anointed with oil and prayed over.

I went.

And I will continue to pray with faith that God CAN heal me.

And as Mercy Me says, “And even if you don’t, my hope is You alone.”

Even if God doesn’t heal me from this chronic pain that has plagued me since I was 18 years old, my hope is Him alone—that this body, this life, is not all my hope. My story doesn’t end here.

Pastor Drew mentioned that the word “remember” in the original Greek means both remember the past AND remember the FUTURE.

And so on this Monday morning, in this season of new motherhood, I will REMEMBER MY FUTURE—when Heaven’s gates swing wide, when I am no longer in this body but in the spirit. When I am no longer burdened by the weights of this world, but rather soar on wings like eagles in forever perfect relationship with my Savior.

Hallelujah. That this is the reality that we all can remember. No matter what we are facing on this Monday and in this season.

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