what beautiful things I’ve seen

It is the song that plays through our engagement video. And it’s the song that’s been running through my head lately as I revel in life with this little miracle.⠀

10 weeks: The day we got the good news that we were in the clear. The SCH had healed. Our baby was healthy. What a relief. I wasn’t sure my still broken heart could handle another loss.⠀

12 weeks, 16 weeks and so on…⠀

All the way to the very baby feet that God gave me a vision of when fear still threatened to steal my joy and expectancy for this life.⠀

And look—she’s here.⠀

God is so faithful and good to meet us on the journey. To never leave our side. To sneak cracks of light that beam hope into the darkness of fear…⠀

To give us good gifts—the very best of gifts—like this one here. Our sweet Noelle. Here. Healthy. Wholly filled with joy.⠀

Her smiles and coos are like the sound of sunshine to me. Like music to my ears.⠀

I think of all we’ve been through. I think of our journey together—me and Clay—from engagement until now… it’s been a lot. Lots of highs. Lots of lows. Lots of learning and growing. Through it all music has been such a part of our story. And all in all I can say through every step, “What beautiful things I’ve seen.”⠀

As I go back and re-watch our engagement film, I am struck by two of my comments:⠀

1. Not only is Clay “a warm hug at the end of a long day,” he was the warm hug at the end of a long journey of singleness.⠀

2. “It’s like God had this wonderful gift at the end of a really long road.” It was Clay—after that long road of singleness. And here now, we have our sweet Noelle—the warmest little hug at the end of a what seemed like a really long road of waiting, miscarriage, and that scare early on in pregnancy.⠀

Once again I am able to say—even through the pain and heartache of the long road that led me here—“What beautiful things I’ve seen.” Because even in the darkness of the unknown, even in the pit of grief, and even in the struggle to go on some days—God met me there on the journey, showed up so evidently, and faithfully sought after me even when I turned from Him.⠀

He had given me this most beautiful thing these eyes have seen.⠀

. . .

*You can search “our engagement film” on my blog to watch!⠀

Blanket: @willowmagnoliaco

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